I've discovered something...I think I know what my downfall will be or already is in life. I've never let go of the past. I mean I can feel it because it's constantly lurking behind me and I give into the temptation. Obviously, doing so, it has never ended well...I've made promises to myself never to look back once I let go of something but I've never once followed through on those promises, and I think it's time to start doing so.
In this very moment, as if the moment that I've written this post. My mind is filtering through everything. It's what I love the most about the mind. I can get lost in my own thoughts and it's wonderful. I feel calm, relaxed and invincible. However whilst I was flickering through my mind today, I began to obsess about the past because I thought of someone whom I thought was in the past but then I wondered why am I thinking of them if I disregard them from my life? But the bitter truth is...I haven't. I never did because I possibly couldn't.
Then I began to think of as many downfalls as I possibly could before I got home. (p.s people should never be in deep thought whilst walking, there's a possibility of getting hit by a car if you aren't aware of your surroundings! I got it from experience.) Anyway, back to the point at hand, my greatest fear is my downfall. My greatest fear is the past. I don't know why but it just is...so it frightens me, even more, to realize that it could be my downfall. On my way back home I thought about school mostly; I thought about the different types of people, the different friendship groups, and different personalities. Some of these people aren't nice people. Either is I, though. No one is then again. Then I thought of those people who put others down just for the sake of it or merely because they thought the could.
I'm 17. I'm terrified of the past. I fear that my downfall will lead me into an endless spiral of my chaos and misery. I fear that there's not one single person in my life that truly gets me anymore, so I have no one to talk to honestly. What I don't fear is the present. Nonetheless, with all my fears, I shouldn't' ignore them because I can't. I can, however, make sure that they don't dictate my life as they recently have been. What's more is that I think I went off topic ages ago but I've missed posts like these. I've missed my creative writing. It's the only thing that gets nowadays. I'm not exactly great at expressing myself through speaking. Writing is best for me and right now...at this very moment...I'm at peace with myself once more. It's my best time because of its when I have no fears or worries about anything in the world. Not even my downfall.
Make Love To The Present, Fuck The Past
Make Love To The Present, Fuck The Past
Make Love To The Present, Fuck The Past
Make Love To The Present, Fuck The Past
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