Letters To People I Love: 2016

The year is over
I spent 365 days battling myself, my inner demons and closing off friends 
At the time, I didn't particularly think that there was a part of me that was deeply committed to self-forgiveness
I sought into the shadows for answers, and now, I'm in my room clueless to what 2017 holds for me
I refuse to be a victim of my past, and my past transgressions 
I refuse to wallow in self-pity because I know that I can do better 
In 2016, I opened a new chapter of my life 
I spent approximately 45 days in Leicester, this was and is to be my life for the next 4 years
I put up a calendar, drunk to my heart's content, and I even tried to float above water 
I also cried along the way
I was deeply hurt
I no longer saw myself as the person I'd hoped to be 
I leave 2016 with a trip in mind, a trip to reconnect with an old friend and maybe get a chance for relaxation and renewal 
My time in Leicester has taught me to fold my good days in twos and shelf them for later use 
There is no use for me to set a fire on a life that I've so desperately craved
I leave Leicester's pain in the past because 2017 has to be better than this, it just has to 
I cleanse myself of all the heartache, all the hatred and regret 
I am thrilled for the new start
Damn, I ready hope 2017 is better than half my years on this earth 
I hope I'm ready

Letters To People I Love: Do Not Let University Destroy You

I say this because it is true. Some of us university students, enter university and make it our whole lives; which to some extent, it is. But then again, it is not because I am sat on my bed at this very moment wallowing in tears because I'm tired and I'm stressed. Considering that I have only been here a little under 4 months and I already feel defeated. I miss my friends and family. I miss being able to talk to them every day, ask how their day was. I miss being around them, in general. It's all these little things, the ones that you think are insignificant, the ones that you begin to realise when you are away. I miss it all. 

I generally feel like I'm falling behind in life because I'm struggling with understanding my assignments, which always seems to flood every time I finish one. But I know that it is not motivation that I need nor inspiration, I really would just like a break. From university, from my friends and family. From life, in all honesty, because I am so overwhelmed and the one person I  can talk to is literally on the other side of the world. So I'm here in my rooms crying softly hoping that none of my housemates hear me crumble.