I used to adore my dad, though I'm not quite sure what happened to us. Maybe after all those years of being a daddy's girl, the false promises got to me and I flipped. It took a certain amount of time for me to come to the realisation that it just wasn't meant to be. No matter how much I wanted it. He had planned something different for me.
The laughter slowly faded. No more phone calls. Nor remembering birthdays, mine and my siblings'. The bond that's never meant to be broken had finally snapped and daddy's little girl was forced into reality a bit too early.
I'm me. The same girl I am today. One that still holds onto a tightrope that's not strong enough but believes he will come around. Why hang on to something that won't be there to save your fall? I guess... well sometimes I think this whole life of mine is merely a dream or nightmare. I'm not too sure. Though I'm let down several times by him, I just can't bring myself to say goodbye because it means shutting him out forever. He's the cause of what I'm today.
Hero--> Villain
If I wasn't so stubborn, I would have said 'adios' ages ago. I would have listened to what people told me. The hole and disbelief that he's carved into my heart will forever stay there. Maybe it won't. But how can I say goodbye to someone whom I'm not too sure of but still manages to fall into his traps like a helpless bunny?
What am I? I'm a 15-year-old girl, who's lost, hurt and scared. Feeling helpless and trapped under the power of the one man, with whom she yet has to decide where her heart lies with him. Who am I? Simple, really! I'm a girl with dad issues! Where did all the happiness disappear to? Am I not allowed to have a relationship with my father? Will I ever be able to escape from his grasp?
15.04.13
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