#TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries

I should really stop procrastinating because this is a very special post to me. Very close to my heart and I'm going to tell you why. 

Now I know, that you all know my feelings towards the whole education system and while, some of you may have some differing views to mine; I ask that you respect mine and I'll do the same for you in return. 

#TheVeryGirlDiaries was a thought bought to life literally minutes before my Boom, Bust and Recover history exam and in that moment, I was just thinking about all the possibilities and outcomes when I finish my exams. I thought about the amount of times that I spent awake crying because I had developed this notion in my head that my life was over, if I didn't get the grades I needed. And as if those sleepless nights were draining enough, my anxiety would kick in because one of my biggest fears is failing. So like hell, school was doing a bang up job! Because here I was in my exam having an anxiety attack from thinking about my failure in school (something I detested so much) and from watching my friends write so fast.

However, everything is not as it seems, as I found out that everyone has different ways of dealing with exams and it was selfish of me to think that I was the only one going through this hectic period. #TheVeryGirlDiaries was a series that helped me capture the toll that exams took on some of my friends and how they handled it.  

So without a further ado, here are the #TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries 

This is An An. Future designer and entrepreneur. She's also one of the happiest people I know. #TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries

 Before this picture, An An was stressing about her incomplete Business coursework and at the time, I had lost my history teacher (like of course, I'm the only person who can lose a whole person...). So to lessen her stress, I told her to take a break and we had a catch-up session for a few minutes because exams had taken us from each other due to our different subjects. 

I took a series of pictures of An An because she was my first tired girl. What I found out was that she was making phenomenal strides in achieving her dreams of becoming a fashion designer and I couldn't be more proud of her! 

This is Reanar. Bubbly. Shady. One Direction obsessed (despite the fact that they are never making a comeback). She's my wander anywhere partner. #TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries

Taken in Brick Lane, what I discovered about my second tired girl was that when she's overwhelmed by the concept of school, she likes to wander.   She will wader anywhere and everywhere. And while, this may be an old picture, I thought that it was the most fitting for Reanar but now that I think about it, I should've captured one of her in Lush as that's her safe place. 

Anywhere throughout our years together, from year 9 to now, Reanar has always been one to express herself visually and what a beautiful site it is, when she does so.  I wasn't able to see her during exam until the end because English was our common subject, regardless of not being in the same class but we've made up for it during my days of procrastination. 

This is Fatima. She has an honest and pure soul. Caring. Genuine. Real. She's also one of my favourite people in the entire world. I can't wait for her to change the world. Love you bubs. #TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries

They say a picture says a thousand words. Can you guess the words this picture is trying to tell? 

If you guys ever come across Fatima, I ask that you treasure and treat her kindly because she really is one in a million! And it was heartbreaking to see her like this at prom (another thing, why did we have prom inbetween our exams!?! ) Bubs, has never been one to constant express her emotions because she's always so busy trying to comfort others that she forgets to take care of herself but she has several people to remind her to do so and I'm one of them. 

There are not a lot of people in my life that I truly love and will ever fully let into my life but Fatima is one of those very, very few people and I'm so glad to have her. During our exams, she still made ever effort to be there for her friends 100%, something that she's never once fell short of. She cheered us on when we felt living giving up and that's why when she was at her lowest at prom, we all dropped what we were doing; whether it was drinking, dancing or conversing with someone to be there for her because we all knew that we will never get anyone else like her in our whole lifetime.  

This is Jennifer and Tia. I've known Jennifer, since year 7 and Tia, since primary. Friends. Sisters. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. I miss them so much! #TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries

 My sisters from other mothers! Captured in year 11 because I hardly ever get to see them nowadays but we still stay in touch because we know that we don't have to be in constant touch with each other just to prove our friendship. 

Jennsz and Teeya have taught me so much about life and friendship. Teeya guided me throughout primary when I had just arrived at her school and she and Jennifer continued to do so when we all went to the same secondary school because it was not only difficult adjusting to a whole new country, culture but also to the education system and expectations. 

That's why 10 years later for Teeya and 7 for Jennifer, I can still trust to be honest with them and they with me especially with exams. I know that they will go on to be incredible people and I hope I'll be there to witness it. 

Originally, I had envisioned this series being more than 4 candids as I still had so many people to talk about but I have a thing about doing things in 4s. Regardless of that, I know that I'm not yet finished it #TheVeryTiredGirlDiaries. 

I'm very excited to see where it heads next! 

The Start to a Long, Overdue Apology

Feb. 09. 2012 - he left.

Summer 2016 Reading List

Under Fire by Henri Barbusse 

Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

No God but God: The Origins, Evolution and Future of Islam by Reza Aslan

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke 

The Five People you meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

What we talk about when we talk about love by Raymond Carver

The Hardest Thing

On June 12th, America witnessed its worst tragedy on the LGBT community 
49 lives were taken 
And following the massarce, Congress voted down commonsense gun safety laws 
Now compare that to the fact that in this year alone, over 200 bills targeting the LGBT community have been introduced 


On June 5th, Alton Sterling was brutally murdered by two white officers 
And as if this wasn't enough, on June 6th, Philando Castile was added to the ever-growing list of black people killed by white policemen 

I'm not sure what to say anymore because I'm fucked pissed! 
I'm tired of all the ignorant ass people who have the audacity to rebattle our Black Lives Matter movement with 'what about black on black crime?'
Please shut the hell up! 

'Black on black crime' is a bloody term that enables racism as pushes the idea in our head that the real problem is 'black people killing black people' 
Hell, it's not the policemen nor the justice system
Shit, it's people of colour, it's always been them
They are always acting like 'thugs'

Black people don't kill black people they are 'black'
Those that do get time 
So I want to know what makes these fucking policemen 'special' that they can kill us and walk away
Explain that to me! 

All are asking for is JUSTICE!
If a police officer kills one of our own, we demand justice seeing as the US justice system is so eager to give to the black people who commit the smallest of crimes
Police officers are NOT above the law! 
They aren't the law!

Police officers are here to protect using the law and abiding by it. 
We understand that not all black people are innocent but these toxic policemen shouldn't be deciding our future 
How many more?
You have no right to challenge our movement by blaming it on our behaviour
Was 12-year-old, Tamir Rice a thug?

(incomplete)

Life Lessons

This Thing Called Life